


Walls We Build

by ClydesDuckTape



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mutilation, Self-Mutilation, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:48:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29007063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClydesDuckTape/pseuds/ClydesDuckTape
Summary: Ben Solo once had hope and life in him. Slowly all love and light was eroded from him, through teachings and eventual betrayal. Once that light was gone, all that was left of Ben was now called Kylo and Kylo had vowed to extinguish any love or light that came his way.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo/You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Kudos: 12





	Walls We Build

The crackle and sizzle of the erratic crossblades filled the air as the smell of burning flesh wafted up and settled in his hair. Dragging the blade, singeing the pale thin skin right below his ribs. Muscles pulled tight, twitching as the name was crossed off. Another life extinguished moments earlier, now the name on his torso.

Scanning his reflection his eyes flicker over scars, jumping from name to name. Names littering his person without rhyme or reason; the universe had long given up generating his soulmark on his wrist once cascading down his forearm, eventually lettering sprayed across his body appearing in places that should have been inaccessible, all seared off.

His skin tingled and burned but from the inside out. On his chest, right over his heart he focuses as a new name pushed through the skin. Eyes watering, he fought back tears of exhaustion as he ran a shaking finger over the writing, tracing the nuances and flair of this unique signature. The name ending in a flourish. He sighed, comparing it to the others scattered on his skin. They all had a hopefulness to them, unknowing of the horrors that were headed towards them.

Redressing, his mind wanders; he never allowed himself fantasies or foolish thoughts. But sometimes, they seeped in. He reminded himself of his teachings and training, attachments only tether him to weakness and failure. He was too important and too valuable for that. He was destined for greatness and power having worked to seal any leaks that could threaten what he toiled so hard to build.

***  
From your adolescence your wrist had been bare. No name every bubbled to the surface, a rarity on your planet. Being born higher status however, a bare wrist was a hot commodity to be exploited and you were raised to accept that you were a bargaining tool used to gain more power, soothe wars, start wars, or perhaps unite people.

Knowing your love wasn’t up to the universe but instead in the hands of greedy men, you grew tough skin, learned to lie and deceive. Taught yourself how to get what you needed, making the most of your circumstances and exploiting weaknesses.

All that changed one day. Waking up from a turbulent dream filled with screams and terror, the air around you hung with the scent of charred flesh. Wrinkling your nose at the smell that had carried out of your dream and burrowed into your senses, you wiped your nose using your arm, dragging your wrist over your face flinching in pain. Looking at the offending discomfort, you now had a name on your wrist. Eyes ran over the name written in beautiful calligraphy. The name “Ben Solo” now adorned your skin, eyes widened in horror as you realized the universe had conspired against you.

The planet’s elders held an emergency council meeting. Your current condition was no good to them. They had offered you to the Supreme Leader, in fact he had asked for you by name. The elders had hoped this transaction would earn them favor with The First Order and spare the planet from calculated ruination. With your new found soulmark however, this threw in an unforeseen complication.

***  
The sky above was suddenly dotted with the shapes of Battlecruisers and shortly followed by the whirring of fighters entering the atmosphere. Sirens sounded through the city, alerting it’s citizens to take shelter. The Supreme Leader had arrived earlier than expected, sending the council scrambling, trying to figure out how to best present you and hide your new markings.

Working with such little time you wore a flowing layered sheer fabric black dress with a red color shift effect and black metal cuff bracelets, covering your markings. This would have to do for now.

***  
Harsh heavy footsteps moved in unison through the council halls, heading straight for you. You stood tall with your back straight and your eyes scanning, taking in the forms around the chamber all dwarfed by the high ceiling and tall windows. Elders and officials shifting on their feet, hands trembling and fidgeting as the footfalls drew closer, falling silent just outside the chamber doors.

The large heavy doors flew open to reveal the Supreme Leader, tall, dark, and imposing. Outstretched hand, falling to his side as he resumed his stride coming to rest a few feet away from you. His accompanying troopers took post outside the doors.

The elders by your side scrambled to extol and gain favor with the masked oppressor. Bowing and motioning to you, their words never reaching him as his visor was fixed to your form. His hands flexed, leather squeaking as he worked his jaw in thought under his helmet.

Having run out of praise the chamber fell silent, eager eyes and stretched smiles faltered as the elders anxiously awaited a response. A low cracking “Leave us” rumbled, causing the chamber to clear without a soul looking your way. _Cowards_ , you bitterly thought, causing his helmet to tilt ever so slightly.

The entire time your eyes had been focused on the gold mirrored tiles ahead, never faltering or raising. Your heartbeat picked up as his black books stepped into the square you had now memorized.

The air laid thick and silent, broken by the soft hiss of his helmet. “Look at me,” his voice now clear from modulation but just as deep. Despite the softness in his voice, you flinched at his words. All the preparations and training you had done now gone from your mind.

Your eyes traversed the expanse of his form, taking in the layers of black fabric and leather up his chest to his raven locks that framed pale face angular face. Tears pooled in your eyes as you met his unwavering amber gaze. The skin under his left eye twitched as his lips pulled in thought.

His gloved hand came up to your face, finger cupping your jaw as he ran his thumb over your cheek traveling down across your lips, almost as if he was mapping your face. His eyes grew darker and his brows furrowed as he held your chin and squeezed, causing you to cry out in pain. The unshed tears now boring hot tracks over your skin.

His helmet hit the chamber floor as he moved quickly in a flurry of fury, grunting as his hand tore from your face to grip your wrist, ripping the cuff off to examine your soulmark. Holding your hand out in front of you, he ignited his red saber. The unstable blades illuminated his face, eyes dark but now unsure.

Slowly lowering his blade you tried to pull away but your body was unable to respond, merely shaking in resistance and futile attempts as the heat met your skin, dragging over the name. The chamber now filled with your screams and the smell of your burning flesh.

Vision blurred as you stood staring down at your arm, the skin charred and burning in anger. The soulmark immediately reappeared just below, now reading “Kylo Ren.”

Sweat covered your body, drops falling from the edges of your face as your eyes flicker from the new name to the man in front of you. His eyes wide and confused as the hot blade extinguished.

They always say Ben. They never regenerate. He always snuffs out the life standing before him but this time he doesn’t.

He met your eyes again and raised his hand as your body fell limp, your world going black. He set you on the ground before readjusting his appearance and scooping you back up.

Chamber doors flew open once again he stalked out and through the halls, ignoring the murmurs and congratulations of the elders. Carrying you to his fighter, he paused at the bottom of the ramp nodding to the officer beside him.

The sounds of screams and blasters dying away as the ramp closed behind him.

Setting you down he mulled over how to proceed, confused as to why he spared your life. As he slid into the pilot’s chair he decided he’d figure it out once he got you back to his quarters.

For now you were his.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr: Clydesducktape


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